his birthday

tomorrow is his birthday but there's nothing i can do..i wish that i could wish him but it seems like it's impossible thing to do. aku x tau macam mana nak describe apa perasaan ku sekarang..alangkah indah kalau dia dapat tau yang seseorang slalu mengingati birthday dia malahan tak sabar menunggu saat itu. dan alangkah bahagianya aku kalau dapat wish 'happy birthday' kat dia....aku sangkakan aku mempunyai harapan utk wish but today i found out that i can't. something prevents me from doing so.

aku tak mengerti dengan apa yang ku lalui sekarang. i'm not in love with him. how could it be? he's a stranger! wlaupun selalu jgk bertembung, we don't even talk.. senyum pun tak..kadang2 je terpandang satu sama lain. that's it. it can't be love. impossibe! but what about this feeling? he's always on my mind, he even comes in my dreams...aku selalu TERfikirkan dia, TERangankan dia dan TERmimpikan dia. how could i control this when it happens unconsciously.

aku tau, sedar dan pasti hanya aku saja yang mengalami keadaan ini. mustahil untuk dia juga rasa apa yang aku rasa kerana aku masih waras dan sedar lagi siapa aku di mata dia..hanya orang yang lalu lalang. some say that in order to be happy, just follow your heart. i wish that i could follow my heart but i can't coz it goes astray, it leads me to him... which isn't supposed to. what i have to do now is to control my heart. i won't let it drifts away. so, sempena birtday dia esok...aku akan cuba sebaik mungkin untuk padam perasaan ini before i fall too deeply. i can't promise myself coz i have no confidence but all i can do is to try my very best. yes, i will coz i can. aja aja fighting! go go go!

To you:

-->HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE! (wish that i could really say it to u)
-->SEMOGA PANJANG UMUR, SIHAT DAN HAPPY SELALU...
-->NO MATTER WHERE U ARE, WHAT U DO AND WHO U WITH, I'LL PRAY FOR U...
-->IT'S OK IF U DON'T NOTICE ME COZ I'M GOING TO FORGET THIS FEELING...
-->...COZ EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND I DO BELIEVE THAT...

bila April tiba...

erm...dlm beberape minit lg brakhir la 20 april 2010...tarikh aku wujud dlm dunia ini..aku brharap ari ini lbih brmkna dr ari2 biase...tp sumenye same spt ari2 sblmnye..tiade ape yg special...aku brniat utk hepi ari ni....aku brsyukur dan hepi krn rmai jgk kwn2 yg wish besday aku...tiade yg lbih mngembirakan aku d hari lahir ku ini selain ucapan dari org2 trsyg dan kwn2...tp ntah knp air mate jtuh jgk pd ari istimewa ini....dlm kgmbiraan ade jgk kelukaannye....tiade sbrg ucapan dari org yg kuharapkan....sedih...it's really meaningful to me if that someone wishes a happy besday to me...but that's never gonna happen for my entire life...................

LOVE STORY

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Eve. She didn’t have many friends and she only lived in her little own world. Her only close friends were her family and her pets. She enjoyed herself by doing the things she likes such as listening to music, watching movies, and reading love stories. When she was in a high school, she admired someone whose name is Adam. He was in the same class as her. It was a normal thing happened during that age. They never befriends, not even talks. She just liked to watch that boy and couldn’t take her eyes off him every time they were in the class. In the class, Eve always got the highest mark in English. All her classmates knew about that. Apparently, she had a favourite teacher named Mr. Ronald. He used to be her class teacher. He was proud of her because her English was not very bad. It was hard for students at that school to get good result in English. Mr. Ronald made her felt appreciated and he gave her support to improve her English by giving her an English magazine every month. It made her felt happy and proud of herself. During the final year in the high school, a camp for one of the subjects was held in one place for four days. Only students in her class were compulsory to participate. When they reached there, they were given rooms. They could choose their own roommates. Her roommate was Elly, the closest friend in her class. Before they reached to their rooms, some boys offered to give their hands to carry their huge bags. They were Adam and his best friends, Zack and Luke. She and her classmates had some fun there. On their way back from the camp, Eve sat by herself in the bus. Out of the blue, there was someone sat next to her. It was Adam! He just sat there in order to have some chats with his friends who sat behind Eve and on the other side. She thought that he just sat there for a while but throughout the journey, until she reached her home. Right through the journey, she didn’t know exactly what she felt. All she knew was her heart beaten faster than before and she felt uneasy. After a few weeks, Adam asked her the meaning of a word in English. That was the first and the last time they were staring into each other’s eyes. Sadly, she couldn’t answer him because couldn’t find the answer of his question. It was just a simple question but it didn’t cross her mind because her mentality couldn’t think and function as it should be the moment he looked into her eyes.

Time went by swiftly and it was the time for school graduation and farewell. The last day that she saw Adam was when the day for filling the form for furthering studies to tertiary level. She knew that they won’t meet again and she just wished good bye to him in her heart. After finishing the school, she tried to find his phone number. Months later, she managed herself into a well-known university. Nevertheless, she didn’t give up on searching his number. After some time, she got the number from one of her classmates. She started contact him and to her surprise, he gave her a good respond. From that day on, they became good friends. They even shared their ups and downs together. Just through texting, they became close in a year or two but everything was changed when she found out that he was in love with someone. Her heart stopped beating and fell apart the moment he told her and there were tears in her eyes. She didn’t know why she cried and she just couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Eve couldn’t sleep that night just because of the news. Then she realized that she had fallen for him. However, she just kept the feelings inside and nobody knows about that. Though they still friends, there was distance between them. Adam was changed. He hardly ever texting Eve anymore or even replied it. They continued to be like that after some time and then everything was back to normal again when they became close friends just like before. Soon she found out the he broke up with his girlfriend and he had no one to turn to. Maybe that was the reason why he texting her again. Months later, the same story happened again when he disappeared again. He just came and gone just like that. Then again Eve found out that he got someone new. That time she realized that Adam just came to her only when he had no one. Eve was really heartbreaking to be treated like that. He just came to her whenever he needed her and forgot about her whenever he didn’t need her.

Eve was really had a heartbroken and she tried to forget him. She tried to put aside the feelings that she had for him. Yet, the more she tried to forget him, the more her mind thought about him. Although it’s hard, she tried to live like nothing happened and went on with her life. Sooner or later, the feeling was fading away…………….


to be continued...........